This is going to be hard.
Connection sucks sometimes.
We are meant for connection, but we become exposed. We want to be safe and secure not exposed. Sure we can have superficial "facebook" friends and feel connected. We can choose our words carefully, say something witty, quote someone else, or just provide a list of our activities.
Face to face it can get ugly.
First off let me say, I am wounded and a wreck sometimes because of it. I have started to see it, recognize it, and I have learned to turn to God to replace the lies with truth. It still hurts.
I will admit I am a closet control freak. I even control the fact that I am a control freak. Wow!! When someone else is in charge of my life I get uncomfortable real quick. Sometimes I get downright angry about it. Just try driving in front of me in the fast lane on the interstate doing the speed limit. How dare you tell me how fast I can go. I love to learn so I am constantly asking questions, but if it is something I don't initiate I don't want to be taught anything. I am really struggling with where this comes from. Somewhere in my past I have made a vow that I would never let anyone control my life.
Or better yet, the lie I hear is " You are on your own"!
If I am on my own, I must be in control. I must!
Here is where the pain starts. It starts when you engage in a relationship with someone who either has the same wound, or is truly a helpful loving individual. Your world gets tilted a bit when this happens. You don't know what to do, so you fight for control or you just simply walk away so that you are "on your own". Just one example of how connection can be messy.
I am learning that connection is necessary, I am learning that I am not on my own, and I am learning how to become unoffendable. I have to realize that we are all wounded and we act out of that woundedness. When the wounds collide it can get ugly real quick!
So... here's to being exposed and becoming unoffendable! Ouch!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
proud of me part two
After writing the last blog entry it has been amazing to see how much this saying "are you proud of me?" plays into our lives.
I recently watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and I was blown away. Good movie, I really enjoyed it. I have to admit I laughed out loud in parts and cried in parts. I won't do a movie review here I promise. The point is that the main character Flint Lockwood is so wounded and ties so hard to please everyone, especially his father. After having some success at one of his endeavors he tells his father all about it and then screams at him "Are you proud of me?" The father (who is wounded himself) clearly does not know how to respond and ends up not responding.
Ouch!!
The other memorable moment this week was on "Biggest Loser" the TV show. One of the "couples" are actually cousins and they are very close to their family. One of them mentions that the greatest thing he could hear was "I am proud of you" from his father. I don't really have to say this because as you can guess he was crying we he said it.
Why does this affect us so much?? Why do we need this?
I don't think my previous blog entry uncovered any great revelation, but I think it is a start. We need to spend time with God and ask Him, NOT are you proud of me, but who am I, what is my name, who have you created me to be? Once we understand the answer to the latter questions we get perspective of who we are and we can smile, because we know we have purpose, meaning and fulfillment through Him who created us.
I recently watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and I was blown away. Good movie, I really enjoyed it. I have to admit I laughed out loud in parts and cried in parts. I won't do a movie review here I promise. The point is that the main character Flint Lockwood is so wounded and ties so hard to please everyone, especially his father. After having some success at one of his endeavors he tells his father all about it and then screams at him "Are you proud of me?" The father (who is wounded himself) clearly does not know how to respond and ends up not responding.
Ouch!!
The other memorable moment this week was on "Biggest Loser" the TV show. One of the "couples" are actually cousins and they are very close to their family. One of them mentions that the greatest thing he could hear was "I am proud of you" from his father. I don't really have to say this because as you can guess he was crying we he said it.
Why does this affect us so much?? Why do we need this?
I don't think my previous blog entry uncovered any great revelation, but I think it is a start. We need to spend time with God and ask Him, NOT are you proud of me, but who am I, what is my name, who have you created me to be? Once we understand the answer to the latter questions we get perspective of who we are and we can smile, because we know we have purpose, meaning and fulfillment through Him who created us.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
are you proud of me?
This one hit me twice last night.
The age old question we want answered, are you proud of me?
First things first before I get into my story. We need to answer who this question is intended for. Is it our best friends? Not generally. We don't require much validation in our friendships, we just require companionship and like mindedness for the most part. Is it our peers at work? Again, not really. How about our bosses, coaches or someone in an authority role? I think we are getting closer! We do want some validation that we are doing good work and that it is appreciated, but at the end of the day when we receive the award, promotion, raise, bonus or trophy we want someone else to validate it and speak the words "I am proud of you". My contention is that we long to hear those words from only one person.
Our Fathers!
I was watching the season premier of "American Idol" last night and I saw a girl get the golden ticket and she was very excited. All of the judges said she was great, so the validation should have been there..... right? I mean Simon Cowell said you were terrific! What did she do after she left the audition room.... she called her father and told him that she was "going to Hollywood", and right after that she asked "are you proud of me?" It made my heart sink, because I know that feeling of having to ask that question.
Right after American Idol we caught Sandra Bullock on Jay Leno. She was discussing her latest film "Blindside" and how she invited her father to the premier. She was excited to see what her father had to say, because she thought it was her best work, and she commented that I guess I still want to know that my dad is proud of me. At 40+ years old she still needed her dad to be proud of her.
I don't know if I ever asked that question out loud to my father, but I know I asked it in so many other ways when I was younger. I tried to join him in what he did, and I tried to do the same sports he did. I think at some point I just gave up even though the longing was still there.
Some will want that question answered from their spouses, but the confirmation they receive will never be enough.
The reality is ........ well, the reality is this is making me quite sad to think about and write about. So... how do we get that question answered finally and completely? That my friend is a process you must go through with God.
Only God can answer that question, not by saying I am proud of you, but in you doing the work of pursuing God and finding out who you are and who God made you to be. Once that is revealed you have the freedom of living a life, not under a cloud of questions about our worth, but with a true understanding of your inheritance as sons and daughters. I am reminded of the story of Jacob (whose name means deceiver) and how he wrestled with God all night and would not let go of Him. God touches Jacob hip so that it was injured but Jacob still held on. Jacob told God he would not let go until God blessed him.
The man (God) asked him, "what is your name?" "Jacob" he answered. Then the man said "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome" Genesis 32: 27-28
Jacob would not let go of God until he was blessed. God changed his name from "deceiver", to "he struggles with God". What a blessing. I think that was "I am proud of you" from God.
May you hold onto God tightly and wrestle in prayer about your name and your identity in Him. And don't ever let go!
The age old question we want answered, are you proud of me?
First things first before I get into my story. We need to answer who this question is intended for. Is it our best friends? Not generally. We don't require much validation in our friendships, we just require companionship and like mindedness for the most part. Is it our peers at work? Again, not really. How about our bosses, coaches or someone in an authority role? I think we are getting closer! We do want some validation that we are doing good work and that it is appreciated, but at the end of the day when we receive the award, promotion, raise, bonus or trophy we want someone else to validate it and speak the words "I am proud of you". My contention is that we long to hear those words from only one person.
Our Fathers!
I was watching the season premier of "American Idol" last night and I saw a girl get the golden ticket and she was very excited. All of the judges said she was great, so the validation should have been there..... right? I mean Simon Cowell said you were terrific! What did she do after she left the audition room.... she called her father and told him that she was "going to Hollywood", and right after that she asked "are you proud of me?" It made my heart sink, because I know that feeling of having to ask that question.
Right after American Idol we caught Sandra Bullock on Jay Leno. She was discussing her latest film "Blindside" and how she invited her father to the premier. She was excited to see what her father had to say, because she thought it was her best work, and she commented that I guess I still want to know that my dad is proud of me. At 40+ years old she still needed her dad to be proud of her.
I don't know if I ever asked that question out loud to my father, but I know I asked it in so many other ways when I was younger. I tried to join him in what he did, and I tried to do the same sports he did. I think at some point I just gave up even though the longing was still there.
Some will want that question answered from their spouses, but the confirmation they receive will never be enough.
The reality is ........ well, the reality is this is making me quite sad to think about and write about. So... how do we get that question answered finally and completely? That my friend is a process you must go through with God.
Only God can answer that question, not by saying I am proud of you, but in you doing the work of pursuing God and finding out who you are and who God made you to be. Once that is revealed you have the freedom of living a life, not under a cloud of questions about our worth, but with a true understanding of your inheritance as sons and daughters. I am reminded of the story of Jacob (whose name means deceiver) and how he wrestled with God all night and would not let go of Him. God touches Jacob hip so that it was injured but Jacob still held on. Jacob told God he would not let go until God blessed him.
The man (God) asked him, "what is your name?" "Jacob" he answered. Then the man said "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome" Genesis 32: 27-28
Jacob would not let go of God until he was blessed. God changed his name from "deceiver", to "he struggles with God". What a blessing. I think that was "I am proud of you" from God.
May you hold onto God tightly and wrestle in prayer about your name and your identity in Him. And don't ever let go!
Saturday, January 09, 2010
music
Just listening to some Clash on my iPod and really appreciating the production of the song “Train in Vain”. It has a wonderful stereo effect not only on the instruments, but on the vocals as well. The vocals were recorded twice, once in the left channel and once in the right channel. The effect is very cool. This got me to thinking about the difference between the written music including the lyrics, and the enjoyment of the experience of music.
I liken this to the written words of the Bible and the experience of relationship with God. I mean the music and the Gospel, when it comes down to it, is just ink on paper. The notes are all there and the words to accompany the notes are there, but to just look at it, it doesn’t mean much. Yes, the lyric may be very touching and even if you can read music the melody might be delightful to hum, but until it gets put together with all of the fullness of the instruments and the vocals it is just a sheet of paper.
Same thing with the Bible. There are words on paper. Some of the words are touching, and some of the stories are filled with intrigue and romance. So we read them, choose for them to be true, and then exhibit faith that we trust and believe in God, His son Jesus, and His death and resurrection. We believe Jesus can save us from hell, and we believe that he can wash away our sins and forgive us. But we still live a life that is trying to be more pleasing to God than it is experiencing the relationship with God. We try to follow the rules, we concentrate on the spiritual disciplines, we pray more, and sometime we believe that if we are not continually asking for forgiveness we could die and not go to heaven.
Now if we take the words of the Bible and translate it into the Story that God is telling it can help us understand our story a lot better. We get a glimpse of a God who loves us furiously, and He pursues us continuously.
Let’s take some song examples:
“Think” - Aretha Franklin; when you look at the music the lyrics are good, but the melody seems to stay in one place during the chorus and if you hummed it would sound quite silly. Now listen to Aretha sing it and WOW!! She nails it! So much emotion in her voice and the song comes to life.
“The Messiah – Hallelujah Chorus” – Handel; Here is one where you look at the lyrics and go wow, how many times can they say Hallelujah in one song? It is based on writings in Isaiah and the lyrics are good, but just looking at the lyrics, they are repetitive at best. It is one of the most powerful worship songs ever.
My last example is that of music that sometimes has inconsequential or somewhat abstract lyrics, but the music is exceptional. The Progressive Rock bands of the 70’s come to mind here with their complex music structure including augmented chord progressions, and more of a Classical /Jazz influence than Rock. The music had texture and emotion in the music alone.
God is telling a story that is filled with emotion, rhythm and texture that goes way beyond ink on paper.
Eyes and ears can provide the knowledge, but only the heart can bring you the full experience of God.
I liken this to the written words of the Bible and the experience of relationship with God. I mean the music and the Gospel, when it comes down to it, is just ink on paper. The notes are all there and the words to accompany the notes are there, but to just look at it, it doesn’t mean much. Yes, the lyric may be very touching and even if you can read music the melody might be delightful to hum, but until it gets put together with all of the fullness of the instruments and the vocals it is just a sheet of paper.
Same thing with the Bible. There are words on paper. Some of the words are touching, and some of the stories are filled with intrigue and romance. So we read them, choose for them to be true, and then exhibit faith that we trust and believe in God, His son Jesus, and His death and resurrection. We believe Jesus can save us from hell, and we believe that he can wash away our sins and forgive us. But we still live a life that is trying to be more pleasing to God than it is experiencing the relationship with God. We try to follow the rules, we concentrate on the spiritual disciplines, we pray more, and sometime we believe that if we are not continually asking for forgiveness we could die and not go to heaven.
Now if we take the words of the Bible and translate it into the Story that God is telling it can help us understand our story a lot better. We get a glimpse of a God who loves us furiously, and He pursues us continuously.
Let’s take some song examples:
“Think” - Aretha Franklin; when you look at the music the lyrics are good, but the melody seems to stay in one place during the chorus and if you hummed it would sound quite silly. Now listen to Aretha sing it and WOW!! She nails it! So much emotion in her voice and the song comes to life.
“The Messiah – Hallelujah Chorus” – Handel; Here is one where you look at the lyrics and go wow, how many times can they say Hallelujah in one song? It is based on writings in Isaiah and the lyrics are good, but just looking at the lyrics, they are repetitive at best. It is one of the most powerful worship songs ever.
My last example is that of music that sometimes has inconsequential or somewhat abstract lyrics, but the music is exceptional. The Progressive Rock bands of the 70’s come to mind here with their complex music structure including augmented chord progressions, and more of a Classical /Jazz influence than Rock. The music had texture and emotion in the music alone.
God is telling a story that is filled with emotion, rhythm and texture that goes way beyond ink on paper.
Eyes and ears can provide the knowledge, but only the heart can bring you the full experience of God.
Monday, September 21, 2009
i wonder
Yesterday when I was walking through the mall I saw the cutest thing, and it really made me think. The scene was 3 kids who were between the ages of 3 and 5, and their Dad standing around one of those coin rolling donation thingies. What do you call them? You know.. you put a coin in this slot and roll it and it goes around... and around... and around... until after a very long time it seems it drops out of site at the bottom. It's a big funnel for coins. Anyway, back to my story. I saw these kids watching the coins. Two of them were so small that they crawled up on top of the contraption to get a better view of the coin rolling around. Even the dad was bent over and smiling watching this coin roll round. I smiled too! But then it hit me...
Where is my wonder? Where is my simple enjoyment of everyday moments?
I know where the are. They are lost in cynicism. Lost to the fact that I have been there and done that and nothing much has changed so why bother.
My heart has become hard.
It no longer seeks the joy of everything around me. It says "you know it may look new, but you've seen this before, and it's not worth it. There is a past pain that keeps me from seeing things the way God intended it to be. Every moment is new, it hasn't happened before, but somehow I wrap that moment around my past and look at it from a distorted view. Part of it is genetic, part of it is instinct and part of it is self preservation. Honestly, I don't like it much.
I wish I could look at each new moment as "new" and with a sense of wonder. My kids are experiencing everything as new and I don't engage because, again.... been there done that... time to move on. Even a simple trip to the grocery store could be an adventure, but....
I have been down these aisles before and I know what lies on all of the shelves there is nothing here to experience, so let's just get this over with.
How sad!!
I wish I had more wonder, I wish I could take away the cloud of "past experiences" and let the joy of today flood through me. I wish I didn't judge new relationships, based on past hurts from others.
I wish I laughed more.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
tori and taylor
Two pictures of wounds hit me hard this week. As you can see by the post title I am writing about Tory Spelling and Taylor Swift.
It all started when I was at the doctor's office reading (frankly whatever was in the room at the time) of all things Bazar magazine. In the magazine there was a short interview, or maybe it was just a quote, by Tori Spelling. The quote was a recollection of Tori to her younger years. She said "when I was younger I went into my parents bedroom and I asked my mother if I was pretty, my mother replied you will be when you get your nose done" Wow! Talk about a major wound and you can see the effects of it still today.
It is every girls question to their mommy... Am I pretty?
I have a hard time with this next one because everyone has given it way more attention that it ever deserved. I watched an excited Taylor Swift accept her award at the MTV video awards, only to have her moment stolen and left feeling, I am sure, less than stellar. I saw this young girl watch what was going on in disbelief, and.... I saw her hurt.
I felt her hurt..... I think we all did.
I say I think we all did because of the strong reactions it evoked. I saw words like idiot mostly, I saw punk, thug and I won't write what the President of the United States allegedly said.
One person admittedly thought "idiot" first, then remembered even this guy had a story, and had deep wounds and that this guy needed Jesus. Amen... but here is the fact... We all need Jesus.
We are all broken, wounded, hurting and in need of a Savior. I am no better than the guy who stole her moment.
I have done worse!
I don't think I have the right to call him any names. I do have the right to pray for both of them, and pray that they do find redemption and healing through Jesus. Some say it was all for pubilicity, and from what I hear it worked.
I hope everyone who watched learned something.
My prayer for these young ladies (Tori and Taylor) is that God would reveal Himself, and show them how beautiful, how valuable, and how captivating they truly are.
Not for their looks....... songs....... or money or anything other thing on earth, but for who God created them to be.
It all started when I was at the doctor's office reading (frankly whatever was in the room at the time) of all things Bazar magazine. In the magazine there was a short interview, or maybe it was just a quote, by Tori Spelling. The quote was a recollection of Tori to her younger years. She said "when I was younger I went into my parents bedroom and I asked my mother if I was pretty, my mother replied you will be when you get your nose done" Wow! Talk about a major wound and you can see the effects of it still today.
It is every girls question to their mommy... Am I pretty?
I have a hard time with this next one because everyone has given it way more attention that it ever deserved. I watched an excited Taylor Swift accept her award at the MTV video awards, only to have her moment stolen and left feeling, I am sure, less than stellar. I saw this young girl watch what was going on in disbelief, and.... I saw her hurt.
I felt her hurt..... I think we all did.
I say I think we all did because of the strong reactions it evoked. I saw words like idiot mostly, I saw punk, thug and I won't write what the President of the United States allegedly said.
One person admittedly thought "idiot" first, then remembered even this guy had a story, and had deep wounds and that this guy needed Jesus. Amen... but here is the fact... We all need Jesus.
We are all broken, wounded, hurting and in need of a Savior. I am no better than the guy who stole her moment.
I have done worse!
I don't think I have the right to call him any names. I do have the right to pray for both of them, and pray that they do find redemption and healing through Jesus. Some say it was all for pubilicity, and from what I hear it worked.
I hope everyone who watched learned something.
My prayer for these young ladies (Tori and Taylor) is that God would reveal Himself, and show them how beautiful, how valuable, and how captivating they truly are.
Not for their looks....... songs....... or money or anything other thing on earth, but for who God created them to be.
not meant to be
Well, I just finished a blog post about the meaning of life. It was OK... nothing great and I really just couldn't finish it up and it didn't feel right. So what do I do? Instead of just hitting save and waiting for the right time and waiting for God to speak, I took control and muddled through it.
Like I always do... I take control.
Long story short - I hit "publish", then I tried to view it on my blog and it was gone! It wasn't the right post and it wasn't the right time, and I am OK with that.
A little frustrated, but OK.
Like I always do... I take control.
Long story short - I hit "publish", then I tried to view it on my blog and it was gone! It wasn't the right post and it wasn't the right time, and I am OK with that.
A little frustrated, but OK.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
rugged individualism
"I am a rock, I am an island,
and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries" - Simon and Garfunkel
I am on my own! This is one of the biggest lies that we hear daily, and one that I have been dealing with lately. We live in a culture that says you are on your own, that says "deal with it and move on".
In the last few days I was reminded of the term "Rugged Individualism". For those who have forgotten your high school history lessons, this term came from Herbert Hoover (and the Republican party) and it means that you should survive and succeed on your own with little government help. Upon some further research I found these 7 tendencies of "individualism"
1. I am free
2. I have rights
3. I am equal
4. Only reason binds me
5. I am isolated from everything
6. I am the master of the earth
7. I am godless
Wow! How opposite is this from the Christian faith! We are created for connection, for relationship and for love of others. Here is my attempt to put 7 tendencies of the Christian Faith just to show how opposite we should be to the tendencies of Individualism.
1. I am a slave (Romans 6:22)
2. I submit to the authority of God (Romans 13:1)
3. I am a son and heir (Galatians 4:7)
4. Christ's love binds me (Romans 8:39)
5. I am connected (Genesis 2:18)
6. I am an heir to the Master (Galatians 4:7)
7. I have one God (Exodus 20:5)
There are some other things I need to be reminded of beyond this list. Things like, I am an image bearer, I am loved, I am free in Christ, and I am forgiven. The last one is tough sometimes.
I am forgiven.
Recently I have been thrown back into my story, and while it has been difficult it feels like more and more pieces are fitting together. It is funny how you think life is good, you know your past and have dealt with it, then WHAM you get hit with something.
Issues of abandonment and control keep rearing their ugly heads in my story. In a meeting with a friend I was discussing my early years on my own, and how broke I was all of the time. There were times I did not eat, had to walk or skateboard to work, because I did not have enough money for gas. His comment to me was that you have come a long way from that past, and have become successful. I have to admit I never saw the next comment coming, and frankly it really got me thinking. He said - wow, that is either a great story of redemption from God, or you have really worked hard. So there is the link to the 7 items above. Has God redeemed my life (sure He has), or have I willed this to happen from vows I have made with myself to never be in that predicament again?
Rugged Individualism or Grace?
I know the answer now. It doesn't change my instinct though. Funny how instinct can override anything we have learned. I am a work in progress, moving through the dynamic process of sanctification.
I am so blessed to have some close friends that know my story, and I can invite them into my revelations and recollections and they help edit and understand my story. I couldn't handle most of this without them. God has put these guys in my life and I am so thankful for them. I also have to thank my wife for being the best editor ever!
and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries" - Simon and Garfunkel
I am on my own! This is one of the biggest lies that we hear daily, and one that I have been dealing with lately. We live in a culture that says you are on your own, that says "deal with it and move on".
In the last few days I was reminded of the term "Rugged Individualism". For those who have forgotten your high school history lessons, this term came from Herbert Hoover (and the Republican party) and it means that you should survive and succeed on your own with little government help. Upon some further research I found these 7 tendencies of "individualism"
1. I am free
2. I have rights
3. I am equal
4. Only reason binds me
5. I am isolated from everything
6. I am the master of the earth
7. I am godless
Wow! How opposite is this from the Christian faith! We are created for connection, for relationship and for love of others. Here is my attempt to put 7 tendencies of the Christian Faith just to show how opposite we should be to the tendencies of Individualism.
1. I am a slave (Romans 6:22)
2. I submit to the authority of God (Romans 13:1)
3. I am a son and heir (Galatians 4:7)
4. Christ's love binds me (Romans 8:39)
5. I am connected (Genesis 2:18)
6. I am an heir to the Master (Galatians 4:7)
7. I have one God (Exodus 20:5)
There are some other things I need to be reminded of beyond this list. Things like, I am an image bearer, I am loved, I am free in Christ, and I am forgiven. The last one is tough sometimes.
I am forgiven.
Recently I have been thrown back into my story, and while it has been difficult it feels like more and more pieces are fitting together. It is funny how you think life is good, you know your past and have dealt with it, then WHAM you get hit with something.
Issues of abandonment and control keep rearing their ugly heads in my story. In a meeting with a friend I was discussing my early years on my own, and how broke I was all of the time. There were times I did not eat, had to walk or skateboard to work, because I did not have enough money for gas. His comment to me was that you have come a long way from that past, and have become successful. I have to admit I never saw the next comment coming, and frankly it really got me thinking. He said - wow, that is either a great story of redemption from God, or you have really worked hard. So there is the link to the 7 items above. Has God redeemed my life (sure He has), or have I willed this to happen from vows I have made with myself to never be in that predicament again?
Rugged Individualism or Grace?
I know the answer now. It doesn't change my instinct though. Funny how instinct can override anything we have learned. I am a work in progress, moving through the dynamic process of sanctification.
I am so blessed to have some close friends that know my story, and I can invite them into my revelations and recollections and they help edit and understand my story. I couldn't handle most of this without them. God has put these guys in my life and I am so thankful for them. I also have to thank my wife for being the best editor ever!
Friday, February 13, 2009
meaning of life
What is the meaning of life?
It is the ultimate question everyone of us asks. I have to admit I am not that philosophical, or deep, so I don't dwell on the question much. I am pretty laid back when it comes to the questions of life. I have always said whatever happens, happens. Another favorite expression of mine is "It is what it is". This attitude was probably born from my days of surfing where all I cared about was whether the waves were up or down.
Not much else, just up or down. It is what it is.
So now I am "grown up" and I start to think about things from a different perspective. I look at things from a wide angle lens, instead of a telephoto focused on me. There are others around me, who depend on me. I am starting to see the bigger picture.
So... back to my point, the meaning of life.
Along my journey I have answered a number of questions, like who am I, am I worthy, does anybody really care? God has revealed so much about Himself to me lately that these questions get answered.
God answers the questions. I don't.
So there is still the question of the meaning of life. What is my ultimate purpose? I have come up with this very simple answer:
My life should be a response of gratitude for everything Christ has done for me.
Nothing more.
It is the ultimate question everyone of us asks. I have to admit I am not that philosophical, or deep, so I don't dwell on the question much. I am pretty laid back when it comes to the questions of life. I have always said whatever happens, happens. Another favorite expression of mine is "It is what it is". This attitude was probably born from my days of surfing where all I cared about was whether the waves were up or down.
Not much else, just up or down. It is what it is.
So now I am "grown up" and I start to think about things from a different perspective. I look at things from a wide angle lens, instead of a telephoto focused on me. There are others around me, who depend on me. I am starting to see the bigger picture.
So... back to my point, the meaning of life.
Along my journey I have answered a number of questions, like who am I, am I worthy, does anybody really care? God has revealed so much about Himself to me lately that these questions get answered.
God answers the questions. I don't.
So there is still the question of the meaning of life. What is my ultimate purpose? I have come up with this very simple answer:
My life should be a response of gratitude for everything Christ has done for me.
Nothing more.
Monday, November 03, 2008
rainy days and mondays
"Talkin to myself and feeling old,
Sometimes I would like to quit,
nothin ever seems to fit.
Hangin around,
nothing to do but frown.
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down"
My iPod was on shuffle, and this gloomy old song by The Carpenters came on. At first I wanted to skip over it, then I decided that I haven't heard it in a long time so why not. First off let me say that I am having a pretty good day, nothing spectacular... but pretty OK. I have had good meetings, got a lot of stuff taken care of, planned for my next three weeks, cleaned my office, all of it good stuff.
Then I listened to the song and specifically the lyrics I typed earlier above. I sank hard. I realized things may not be as good as they seem. I may have been getting all of these things done, and feeling good just to mask the pain of something else going on. Just hearing the lyrics made me sad almost immediately.
I have been learning about emotions the last month or so, and one thing I have learned is that if I feel it, I need to admit it, and if I admit it, I can then find out what is really going on. It didn't take long to realize what I was sad about, and yes something else was going on.
I let a good friend down this weekend. I feel sad about it, I also feel a little shame about not stepping up and being a friend. I can't reverse anything that has happened, but I am sad and wish I could change things.
"Hangin around, nothin to do but frown"
I am hoping for his forgiveness. I am hoping for reconciliation.
While I wrote that I just thought about how many people "hope for forgiveness", even from God? Do you hope. . . . or believe? I do have to admit that through all of this I have let God down too. I should have . . . the points are too many to list here. I am at a loss.
God doesn't call us to do anything for him, but He calls us into a relationship with Him and that through that love relationship we will care about the things He cares about. Like it says in James that we should care for the widows and orphans, not as an agenda item on our long list of items to get done, but simply because through the Holy Spirit, God in us, we see from a new perspective and we do everything out of love for Him. In this I failed badly!
"God does not set us here first of all to preach or to do work for Him. The first thing for which He sets us here is to create in others a hunger for Himself. That is, after all, what prepares the soil for the preaching" - Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life
I would like to feel very differently right now, but I think the song just fits today.
Sometimes I would like to quit,
nothin ever seems to fit.
Hangin around,
nothing to do but frown.
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down"
My iPod was on shuffle, and this gloomy old song by The Carpenters came on. At first I wanted to skip over it, then I decided that I haven't heard it in a long time so why not. First off let me say that I am having a pretty good day, nothing spectacular... but pretty OK. I have had good meetings, got a lot of stuff taken care of, planned for my next three weeks, cleaned my office, all of it good stuff.
Then I listened to the song and specifically the lyrics I typed earlier above. I sank hard. I realized things may not be as good as they seem. I may have been getting all of these things done, and feeling good just to mask the pain of something else going on. Just hearing the lyrics made me sad almost immediately.
I have been learning about emotions the last month or so, and one thing I have learned is that if I feel it, I need to admit it, and if I admit it, I can then find out what is really going on. It didn't take long to realize what I was sad about, and yes something else was going on.
I let a good friend down this weekend. I feel sad about it, I also feel a little shame about not stepping up and being a friend. I can't reverse anything that has happened, but I am sad and wish I could change things.
"Hangin around, nothin to do but frown"
I am hoping for his forgiveness. I am hoping for reconciliation.
While I wrote that I just thought about how many people "hope for forgiveness", even from God? Do you hope. . . . or believe? I do have to admit that through all of this I have let God down too. I should have . . . the points are too many to list here. I am at a loss.
God doesn't call us to do anything for him, but He calls us into a relationship with Him and that through that love relationship we will care about the things He cares about. Like it says in James that we should care for the widows and orphans, not as an agenda item on our long list of items to get done, but simply because through the Holy Spirit, God in us, we see from a new perspective and we do everything out of love for Him. In this I failed badly!
"God does not set us here first of all to preach or to do work for Him. The first thing for which He sets us here is to create in others a hunger for Himself. That is, after all, what prepares the soil for the preaching" - Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life
I would like to feel very differently right now, but I think the song just fits today.
Monday, October 20, 2008
spread the wealth around
I have to admit I am a few days behind with my reaction to this comment. I heard the "Joe the Plumber" incident yesterday on the news, and when I heard Obama's comment I was angry and sad at the same time. I am not a political expert but even I can see the flawed thinking in this one.
First off it is NOT the governments responsibility to "spread the wealth around". It is the governments responsibility to collect taxes to run the government and provide infrastructure, protection and other services needed to make this country run. While I do believe the government has some social responsibility to help those truly in need, I don't think that includes spreading the wealth around. The government , in my opinion, needs to remember that they are stewards of the taxpayers money, not owners. They have a responsibility to spend it judiciously. On a side note, look up the word Politic some time see what it means, and where we get the word Politics.
Politic - 1. shrewd or prudent in practical matters; tactful; diplomatic.
I have promised in the blog for it not to be about me, but about God and how we see Him, hear from Him and how to live for His glory, not ours. So here is how I was sad by Obama's statement. I think we as Christians need to be doing more to help out those in need.
This is the part where I start to rant.
We are so caught up in big! Big houses, Big churches, Big cars. We have no margin in our lives to give anything away. We are mortgaged to the hilt, but we are comfortable. We are building BIG churches and calling it success and prosperity. Churches today carry a lot of debt, believe it or not. If we added up all of the interest (just interest) of all of the Church Debt across this country do you know how much that could help those truly in need?
It is just not about "The Church", it is us for failing to give.
Our inability to give because of our lack of margin, or our greediness, leaves our churches short. We all should be prepared to give what God asks, 10%, and we should also be prepared to give even more. I go back to the previous paragraph and ask the same question, sort of. If everyone gave 10% to the church where they are a member, how much debt would the church have? My guess is probably none.
We as Americans, and as Christians have an opportunity to impact The United States and the world in a BIG way. By giving. We need to support our local churches better, and be ready to give our lives away. I love this quote from Kenny Luck in his book "Risk" - "Obedience is the evidence that convinces the world that we are indeed grateful".
The government is not the solution, we are.
Show the world today that you are truly grateful for everything God has given to you, and pass it along. Remember we are only stewards, not owners.
First off it is NOT the governments responsibility to "spread the wealth around". It is the governments responsibility to collect taxes to run the government and provide infrastructure, protection and other services needed to make this country run. While I do believe the government has some social responsibility to help those truly in need, I don't think that includes spreading the wealth around. The government , in my opinion, needs to remember that they are stewards of the taxpayers money, not owners. They have a responsibility to spend it judiciously. On a side note, look up the word Politic some time see what it means, and where we get the word Politics.
Politic - 1. shrewd or prudent in practical matters; tactful; diplomatic.
I have promised in the blog for it not to be about me, but about God and how we see Him, hear from Him and how to live for His glory, not ours. So here is how I was sad by Obama's statement. I think we as Christians need to be doing more to help out those in need.
This is the part where I start to rant.
We are so caught up in big! Big houses, Big churches, Big cars. We have no margin in our lives to give anything away. We are mortgaged to the hilt, but we are comfortable. We are building BIG churches and calling it success and prosperity. Churches today carry a lot of debt, believe it or not. If we added up all of the interest (just interest) of all of the Church Debt across this country do you know how much that could help those truly in need?
It is just not about "The Church", it is us for failing to give.
Our inability to give because of our lack of margin, or our greediness, leaves our churches short. We all should be prepared to give what God asks, 10%, and we should also be prepared to give even more. I go back to the previous paragraph and ask the same question, sort of. If everyone gave 10% to the church where they are a member, how much debt would the church have? My guess is probably none.
We as Americans, and as Christians have an opportunity to impact The United States and the world in a BIG way. By giving. We need to support our local churches better, and be ready to give our lives away. I love this quote from Kenny Luck in his book "Risk" - "Obedience is the evidence that convinces the world that we are indeed grateful".
The government is not the solution, we are.
Show the world today that you are truly grateful for everything God has given to you, and pass it along. Remember we are only stewards, not owners.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
top 5
I recently watched the movie "Hi Fidelity" with John Cusack. Good flick from the perspective of story. The main character is trapped and doomed it seems with questions from his past. As the title infers it is about his past relationships and his present failed relationship. Anyway, throughout the movie he breaks into a top 5 list. Top 5 breakups, Top 5 track 1's on albums etc.. What a great idea, especially for music.
For those that know me, know that I love music. For me to name my top 5 songs would be impossible. But this idea of compartmentalizing the top 5 lists, I can have the freedom to include all of my favorites.
This is the interactive portion of this program!
I want those who are interested to comment with their top 5 list as well. I will start off with a few easy ones.
Top 5 - Title Tracks from an Album
1. Aja ; Steely Dan - Aja
2. Tricycle ; Flim and the BBs - Tricycle
3. London Calling ; The Clash - London Calling
4. Viva la Vida ; Coldplay - Viva la Vida
5. Who are You ; The Who - Who are You
Enjoy! And I hope to hear from you, even if it isn't a list of 5, do what you can.
I think next week I will do Top 5 self titled albums. Or, top 5 covers that were better than the original.
Stay Tuned!
For those that know me, know that I love music. For me to name my top 5 songs would be impossible. But this idea of compartmentalizing the top 5 lists, I can have the freedom to include all of my favorites.
This is the interactive portion of this program!
I want those who are interested to comment with their top 5 list as well. I will start off with a few easy ones.
Top 5 - Title Tracks from an Album
1. Aja ; Steely Dan - Aja
2. Tricycle ; Flim and the BBs - Tricycle
3. London Calling ; The Clash - London Calling
4. Viva la Vida ; Coldplay - Viva la Vida
5. Who are You ; The Who - Who are You
Enjoy! And I hope to hear from you, even if it isn't a list of 5, do what you can.
I think next week I will do Top 5 self titled albums. Or, top 5 covers that were better than the original.
Stay Tuned!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Local Color
The movie trailer above this post is for the movie "Local Color" directed by George Gallo. It is opening in November nationwide, just not in Nashville. I am trying to get people interested is seeing this film here in the Nashville area, and we are speaking with the director and the composer of this film to make this happen. I have not seen the entire film, so no promises, but it looks fabulous. It deals with a number of themes my wife and I discuss, art, creativity, passion, knowing our own stories and learning others stories. You can become a fan on facebook, and you can send e-mails to the director. The website is www.localcolormovie.com
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
obstacles and pain
I recently returned from a weekend filled with mountain biking in North Georgia, in real mountains. OK, not 14,000 ft peaks, but compared to Nashville, Big Mountains! What an adventure, and what pain!
Actually . . . multiple types of pain.
The pain of climbing was intense, it is like your thighs will no longer stay in their skin, your lungs cannot begin to take in enough oxygen to keep your muscles working, and you become incredibly thirsty for water. The pain of falling is very different, it is immediate, crushing and sometimes the true pain from the fall can come much later. The third pain is just the pain of exhaustion, your whole body, and I mean whole body is ready to cry out "uncle"! I experienced all of these pains and all I can say was . . . WOO HOO! That was fun!!
Why do I do it? Why do I look to take on something dangerous, risky, adrenaline filled, and could land me in a local hospital? For me, this is one of the ways I am still asking the very important question - "Do I have what it takes?". It is also where I feel the most alive. Pushing my body to perform and seeing how much it can take.
I feel the need to describe the benefits of mountain biking too. The beauty is spectacular! The first trail we did was a climb of Davenport Mountain. It was 2-3 mile climb and an elevation change of around 800 - 900 ft, to start off. Literally the first .2 of a mile was straight up and I almost lost my lunch. The next .4 of a mile was not much better, and we started to walk because we couldn't climb anymore. Through a combination of riding and walking we finally reached the summit. As we rode the trail on the summit, you could see glimpses of the views from the top, and everything to the right and the left of the trail fell off sharply, so you knew you were on the top. It was spectacular!
The next trail we did that day was a little different. The goal was not to reach a "summit" then descend, it was to descend to the river (Cartecay River) then climb back up. Easier said than done. The downhill sections just before reaching the river were downright treacherous. Some people would have a hard time walking down the trail let alone riding it. Again, the scenery was well worth it. We spent a few minutes on large rocks in the middle of the river just enjoying the rush of the river.
In order for me to experience the beauty I had to endure the pain. Whether we choose the path that we know is difficult and we head straight uphill, or we choose what we think is easier and head downhill there is always a possibility of pain. I will tell you that the biggest bruises I received the whole weekend was on the downhill to the river trail.
In life we can't avoid pain, it is inevitable!
The question is do we try at all costs to avoid it? Do we try to forget, by numbing it or making agreements with ourselves that keep us from doing that again. Like I said in my last blog entry, I learn so much about God when I enter into my story, feel the pain and let Him heal me and redeem me. God fixes broken things!
I can't wait to get back to the mountains!
Actually . . . multiple types of pain.
The pain of climbing was intense, it is like your thighs will no longer stay in their skin, your lungs cannot begin to take in enough oxygen to keep your muscles working, and you become incredibly thirsty for water. The pain of falling is very different, it is immediate, crushing and sometimes the true pain from the fall can come much later. The third pain is just the pain of exhaustion, your whole body, and I mean whole body is ready to cry out "uncle"! I experienced all of these pains and all I can say was . . . WOO HOO! That was fun!!
Why do I do it? Why do I look to take on something dangerous, risky, adrenaline filled, and could land me in a local hospital? For me, this is one of the ways I am still asking the very important question - "Do I have what it takes?". It is also where I feel the most alive. Pushing my body to perform and seeing how much it can take.
I feel the need to describe the benefits of mountain biking too. The beauty is spectacular! The first trail we did was a climb of Davenport Mountain. It was 2-3 mile climb and an elevation change of around 800 - 900 ft, to start off. Literally the first .2 of a mile was straight up and I almost lost my lunch. The next .4 of a mile was not much better, and we started to walk because we couldn't climb anymore. Through a combination of riding and walking we finally reached the summit. As we rode the trail on the summit, you could see glimpses of the views from the top, and everything to the right and the left of the trail fell off sharply, so you knew you were on the top. It was spectacular!
The next trail we did that day was a little different. The goal was not to reach a "summit" then descend, it was to descend to the river (Cartecay River) then climb back up. Easier said than done. The downhill sections just before reaching the river were downright treacherous. Some people would have a hard time walking down the trail let alone riding it. Again, the scenery was well worth it. We spent a few minutes on large rocks in the middle of the river just enjoying the rush of the river.
In order for me to experience the beauty I had to endure the pain. Whether we choose the path that we know is difficult and we head straight uphill, or we choose what we think is easier and head downhill there is always a possibility of pain. I will tell you that the biggest bruises I received the whole weekend was on the downhill to the river trail.
In life we can't avoid pain, it is inevitable!
The question is do we try at all costs to avoid it? Do we try to forget, by numbing it or making agreements with ourselves that keep us from doing that again. Like I said in my last blog entry, I learn so much about God when I enter into my story, feel the pain and let Him heal me and redeem me. God fixes broken things!
I can't wait to get back to the mountains!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
couches and chips
Well it's football time again in Tennessee! I am not saying this because I am a huge UT fan, I just love football. College or NFL, it doesn't matter I love to watch it. There is nothing like a cool autumn day with the windows open, cool breezes, leaves changing and football on TV.
There is a certain comfort to it all.
Comfortable couches, chips and dips and hot wings. Sitting in the comfort of your house and watching the teams play. Watching the teams play! Not engaged in the battle, but simply sitting on the sidelines and cheering (or booing). It is really quite intoxicating, and numbing.
Sunday afternoons for me can be a real joy. I make a chili cheese dip, or nachos and usually a large soda, plop on the couch and watch football, then hopefully drift off to a nice afternoon nap. How awesome is that!
I have to say I got my love for football and the Sunday afternoon routines from my mother. She was the loudest in the family when it came to cheering (screaming would be the word actually). She also took me to the Tampa Bay Bucs games, and High School football games. I miss her so much especially this time of year. I remember one time when I was first married, my mother called me up on Sunday and wanted to know if she could come over to our apartment to watch football, because my dad was out of town. She showed up with a 12 pack of MGD because her doctor said a little alcohol wasn't a bad thing for her.
Good times!
We all look for that comfort. We look for it in food, in jobs, in our savings accounts, and our homes. Look at all the new outdoor living rooms that people are building, you know... outdoor fireplace, couches, tables etc... We all want to be comfortable.
We try to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs.
Recently I had to sit through something very painful and very, very uncomfortable. It was something I chose to do. I want to know God even deeper, and the only way to do that is to reject the comfort of religion, and pursue Him in the nooks and crannies of my life. Sometimes when we retrace our steps we run across dangerous inner city alleys that we do not want to go down. They are dark, scary and we don't really know what we might find there. It might make us uncomfortable!
That is where I want to be, as painful as it is. God is there.
The easy thing to do is to sign up for another bible study class or to volunteer our time at the homeless shelter. Don't get me wrong these things are what we are called to do, and what we need to do. I am saying we can know God in such a deeper way if we search for Him in our stories, and go to those places we have avoided all these years.
I would much rather sit in a cold metal chair in a classroom, that is more institutional than cozy, and do life and explore life with travelling partners than sit on my comfy couch, cheer from the sidelines, numb the pain with food and voyeuristically enjoy the battle.
Jesus chose pain over comfort. For my sake, and my whole life is a response of gratitude.
To God be the glory, Amen.
There is a certain comfort to it all.
Comfortable couches, chips and dips and hot wings. Sitting in the comfort of your house and watching the teams play. Watching the teams play! Not engaged in the battle, but simply sitting on the sidelines and cheering (or booing). It is really quite intoxicating, and numbing.
Sunday afternoons for me can be a real joy. I make a chili cheese dip, or nachos and usually a large soda, plop on the couch and watch football, then hopefully drift off to a nice afternoon nap. How awesome is that!
I have to say I got my love for football and the Sunday afternoon routines from my mother. She was the loudest in the family when it came to cheering (screaming would be the word actually). She also took me to the Tampa Bay Bucs games, and High School football games. I miss her so much especially this time of year. I remember one time when I was first married, my mother called me up on Sunday and wanted to know if she could come over to our apartment to watch football, because my dad was out of town. She showed up with a 12 pack of MGD because her doctor said a little alcohol wasn't a bad thing for her.
Good times!
We all look for that comfort. We look for it in food, in jobs, in our savings accounts, and our homes. Look at all the new outdoor living rooms that people are building, you know... outdoor fireplace, couches, tables etc... We all want to be comfortable.
We try to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs.
Recently I had to sit through something very painful and very, very uncomfortable. It was something I chose to do. I want to know God even deeper, and the only way to do that is to reject the comfort of religion, and pursue Him in the nooks and crannies of my life. Sometimes when we retrace our steps we run across dangerous inner city alleys that we do not want to go down. They are dark, scary and we don't really know what we might find there. It might make us uncomfortable!
That is where I want to be, as painful as it is. God is there.
The easy thing to do is to sign up for another bible study class or to volunteer our time at the homeless shelter. Don't get me wrong these things are what we are called to do, and what we need to do. I am saying we can know God in such a deeper way if we search for Him in our stories, and go to those places we have avoided all these years.
I would much rather sit in a cold metal chair in a classroom, that is more institutional than cozy, and do life and explore life with travelling partners than sit on my comfy couch, cheer from the sidelines, numb the pain with food and voyeuristically enjoy the battle.
Jesus chose pain over comfort. For my sake, and my whole life is a response of gratitude.
To God be the glory, Amen.
Friday, August 01, 2008
separation anxiety
With my job I am required to travel from time to time. The distances are usually driving distance, but an overnight stay is required. I try to avoid the overnighters at all costs. I wake up and get on the road before 7am, drive for 3 hours, have my meetings and then drive home. 6 hours in the car is so much better than one night in a hotel. I just checked my points and membership level with my favorite hotel chain, and I found out I am only two stays away from their highest level (Diamond). Truthfully that saddens me.
I like hotels with my family. I like coming back to an icy cold room after a visit to the pool. I like everyone getting ready in the same room and then heading out for breakfast at the hotel. We eat like kings! We eat eggs, bacon, muffins, cereal, danishes, fruit and a full assortment of juices.
I don't like hotels when I am alone and traveling. I don't ever use the pool, but I occasionally use the workout facility. And the truth is I usually have a cup of coffee for breakfast and nothing else.
In the past my daughter has helped me with my travel reservations through an online portal. She helps me pick out which hotel looks best, and she picks where I will stay. She asked me one day, "Does this hotel have a pool?", I said "Yes it does." "You are so lucky!" she replied. She then asked if I was going to pack my bathing suit so that I could go swimming.
When I have to leave, and become separated from my family it hurts. There is a certain sadness when I travel. Generally, I try to stay away from the hotel room until it is bed time. I eat dinner out alone, I shop, maybe catch a movie, anything to trick myself that I am really not away. Then when I do get to the room I fire up my laptop and get to work. At home bedtime is around 10:30, on the road it is midnight.
Recently I either read a book or heard someone on the radio speaking of Jesus praying in the garden before His capture, and his anxiety over the next days.
In Mark it says that Jesus began to be deeply distressed and troubled, and He said "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Luke tells us Jesus was in anguish, so He started praying more earnestly, and His sweat became drops of blood.
Never before have we seen Jesus show this emotion. Was he in anguish over the pain he was about to endure? Maybe. I think he knew that He was about to take on the sin of the world and that His father could not look at Him with the sin, so His father would have to turn His back.
Jesus is in anguish (I think) over the separation of Himself from the Father.
Here is the deal, we are all separated from the Father. That separation is what causes the sadness and anxiety. When we are reunited with the Father through a relationship with Christ, we know the Joy and the Peace that passes all understanding.
I am still sad when I travel, but I am reminded of what Christ went through and I turn my thoughts to Him and everything just feels a little better.
I like hotels with my family. I like coming back to an icy cold room after a visit to the pool. I like everyone getting ready in the same room and then heading out for breakfast at the hotel. We eat like kings! We eat eggs, bacon, muffins, cereal, danishes, fruit and a full assortment of juices.
I don't like hotels when I am alone and traveling. I don't ever use the pool, but I occasionally use the workout facility. And the truth is I usually have a cup of coffee for breakfast and nothing else.
In the past my daughter has helped me with my travel reservations through an online portal. She helps me pick out which hotel looks best, and she picks where I will stay. She asked me one day, "Does this hotel have a pool?", I said "Yes it does." "You are so lucky!" she replied. She then asked if I was going to pack my bathing suit so that I could go swimming.
When I have to leave, and become separated from my family it hurts. There is a certain sadness when I travel. Generally, I try to stay away from the hotel room until it is bed time. I eat dinner out alone, I shop, maybe catch a movie, anything to trick myself that I am really not away. Then when I do get to the room I fire up my laptop and get to work. At home bedtime is around 10:30, on the road it is midnight.
Recently I either read a book or heard someone on the radio speaking of Jesus praying in the garden before His capture, and his anxiety over the next days.
In Mark it says that Jesus began to be deeply distressed and troubled, and He said "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Luke tells us Jesus was in anguish, so He started praying more earnestly, and His sweat became drops of blood.
Never before have we seen Jesus show this emotion. Was he in anguish over the pain he was about to endure? Maybe. I think he knew that He was about to take on the sin of the world and that His father could not look at Him with the sin, so His father would have to turn His back.
Jesus is in anguish (I think) over the separation of Himself from the Father.
Here is the deal, we are all separated from the Father. That separation is what causes the sadness and anxiety. When we are reunited with the Father through a relationship with Christ, we know the Joy and the Peace that passes all understanding.
I am still sad when I travel, but I am reminded of what Christ went through and I turn my thoughts to Him and everything just feels a little better.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
houston, we have a problem
That phrase "Houston, we have problem" was originally spoken by James Lovell of Apollo 13 when the mission encountered a major problem. It has come to mean - something is terribly wrong.
Something is terribly wrong.
With Everything!
There is something wrong with everything on Earth - Eden is gone. Everywhere we look we see a world that is slightly askew. M. Night Shyamalan did a wonderful job in his movie Unbreakable to visually show us through his camera, and through his characters a world that is at odds with itself. The camera shows us through upside down characters, shots through obstructed views and one of my favorites a scene shot in the reflection of a TV set. The main characters show us the two opposing apexes of the pendulum swinging through the fragility of life. Are we completely breakable, or unbreakable? Either way there is pain. We live in a fallen world.
The beauty of Eden is gone, but we yearn for it. We strive to look our best in everything we do. We want the beauty of a beautiful home, a beautiful car, a beautiful wife, beautiful kids. We have to realize what we are really yearning for. We think that beauty can be bought from a plastic surgeon, but it is only temporary. We think that beauty can be found on-line, it too only lasts a moment. We keep trying, and once what we have found to be beauty gets old, worn out, or just not beautiful anymore, we search for something else that is beauty. There is no perfection in beauty anymore Eden is gone. The beauty that we long for, the perfect everlasting beauty can only be found in Christ. He is what we long for.
The peace of Eden is gone. We also strive for peace, or what we call happiness. So we find ourselves burned out by beauty, but surely God wants me to be happy. Right? If I could just get my kids to behave, if I could just get that raise, and I could go on. There are a number of things we think will make us happy. I recently read this quote from Watchman Nee, and it hit me hard.
"I am not suggesting by this that we must try to dispose of everything; that is not the point. The point is that as God's children you and I may not accumulate things for ourselves. If I keep something it is because God has spoken to my heart; if I part with it it is for the same reason. I hold myself in the will of God and am not afraid to give if God asks me to give. I keep nothing because I love it, but let it go without regret when the call comes to leave it behind. That is what it means to be detached, free, separated to God."
The place of Eden is gone. What I mean is all of the places to live on this planet have a character flaw. There is no perfect place to live. There are Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Volcanoes, Wildfires and Tornadoes just to name a few. This is not our home and we have to get used to that. I am reminded of the movie "The Matrix" where Neo finally sees the Matrix for what it really is.
All of this to say when we begin to realize that something is wrong we are one step closer to understand what we are really longing for. And that is God himself.
One last quote, from the great theologians Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young:
"Well then can I walk beside you, I have come to lose the smog, And I feel like I'm a cog in something turning, And maybe it's the time of year, Yes and maybe it's the time of man, And I don't know who I am, But life is for learning, We are stardust, we are golden, We are ten billion year old carbon,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden"
At least we know what we are looking for. Welcome to the journey.
Monday, July 28, 2008
quiet
I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend today enjoying lunch. He is leaving town soon and moving out to California, so this was a chance for us to catch up and say so long (for now). Anyway, during the middle of lunch the restaurant experienced a power outage, and I noticed it instantly. It wasn't because of the lighting, because we were sitting next to a window and the lighting never changed.
It was the noise.
The fountain in the entryway stopped, the hum of the lights disappeared, all of the noise of power was gone. People were still conversing and there was the noise of people walking and talking, but the underlying noise was gone. I found myself wanting to lower my voice, because now others could hear me better. I felt the noise of the conversations grower quieter just like mine did. It felt like all of the other people became uncomfortable with the quiet as well.
Do we all feel uncomfortable in the quiet?
At my house there is always music on. Everyone in our family loves music and there is almost always some sort of music playing. Sometimes softly and sometimes we just rock out! Other than music there is generally a TV on somewhere in the house too. The AC is blowing, the computers are humming, the air filtration systems are whirring (allergies!) and on and on. Right now my monitor for my computer just started making and audible buzzing sound that almost drowns out the AC blowing.
What does it sound like in your house when the power goes out?
You should try it sometime. Make sure all of your expensive electronics, Computers and AC are off and just hit the main breaker. You will quickly see how much noise we live with.
How do we expect to hear from God with all of this noise? I wonder what some of us would do without noise, not the obvious loudness of life, but that low level humming (white noise) of life and electricity.
One of my favorite things to do is standing outside in a heavy snow. Do you know what I am talking about? One of those snows where it falls straight down, and each flake is the size of a half dollar. Talk about quiet and peaceful. I think it is the most peaceful experience in the world.
God wants us to experience His peace, but we need to just hit the main breaker and let life get quiet. We can hear what He has for us when it is quiet, and we are listening.
It was the noise.
The fountain in the entryway stopped, the hum of the lights disappeared, all of the noise of power was gone. People were still conversing and there was the noise of people walking and talking, but the underlying noise was gone. I found myself wanting to lower my voice, because now others could hear me better. I felt the noise of the conversations grower quieter just like mine did. It felt like all of the other people became uncomfortable with the quiet as well.
Do we all feel uncomfortable in the quiet?
At my house there is always music on. Everyone in our family loves music and there is almost always some sort of music playing. Sometimes softly and sometimes we just rock out! Other than music there is generally a TV on somewhere in the house too. The AC is blowing, the computers are humming, the air filtration systems are whirring (allergies!) and on and on. Right now my monitor for my computer just started making and audible buzzing sound that almost drowns out the AC blowing.
What does it sound like in your house when the power goes out?
You should try it sometime. Make sure all of your expensive electronics, Computers and AC are off and just hit the main breaker. You will quickly see how much noise we live with.
How do we expect to hear from God with all of this noise? I wonder what some of us would do without noise, not the obvious loudness of life, but that low level humming (white noise) of life and electricity.
One of my favorite things to do is standing outside in a heavy snow. Do you know what I am talking about? One of those snows where it falls straight down, and each flake is the size of a half dollar. Talk about quiet and peaceful. I think it is the most peaceful experience in the world.
God wants us to experience His peace, but we need to just hit the main breaker and let life get quiet. We can hear what He has for us when it is quiet, and we are listening.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
pick a little, talk a little
One of my favorite movies is the "The Music Man", don't know why, I just do. I guess any movie that is funny, has a romantic tension (that gets resolved), and music is right up my alley. There is a song in the movie called "Pick a Little, Talk a Little", and it is representative of the women in the town being "chatty" about the goings on in the town. Not much to the song other than the occasional verse "Talk a lot, pick a little more". Anyway, I just kind of feel like all of my talking is just like these women, talk for the sake of talk.
I think I am done talking for a while (and writing).
I am ready to listen.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Amen.
I think I am done talking for a while (and writing).
I am ready to listen.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
