rainy days and mondays

"Talkin to myself and feeling old,
Sometimes I would like to quit,
nothin ever seems to fit.
Hangin around,
nothing to do but frown.
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down"

My iPod was on shuffle, and this gloomy old song by The Carpenters came on. At first I wanted to skip over it, then I decided that I haven't heard it in a long time so why not. First off let me say that I am having a pretty good day, nothing spectacular... but pretty OK. I have had good meetings, got a lot of stuff taken care of, planned for my next three weeks, cleaned my office, all of it good stuff.

Then I listened to the song and specifically the lyrics I typed earlier above. I sank hard. I realized things may not be as good as they seem. I may have been getting all of these things done, and feeling good just to mask the pain of something else going on. Just hearing the lyrics made me sad almost immediately.

I have been learning about emotions the last month or so, and one thing I have learned is that if I feel it, I need to admit it, and if I admit it, I can then find out what is really going on. It didn't take long to realize what I was sad about, and yes something else was going on.

I let a good friend down this weekend. I feel sad about it, I also feel a little shame about not stepping up and being a friend. I can't reverse anything that has happened, but I am sad and wish I could change things.

"Hangin around, nothin to do but frown"

I am hoping for his forgiveness. I am hoping for reconciliation.

While I wrote that I just thought about how many people "hope for forgiveness", even from God? Do you hope. . . . or believe? I do have to admit that through all of this I have let God down too. I should have . . . the points are too many to list here. I am at a loss.

God doesn't call us to do anything for him, but He calls us into a relationship with Him and that through that love relationship we will care about the things He cares about. Like it says in James that we should care for the widows and orphans, not as an agenda item on our long list of items to get done, but simply because through the Holy Spirit, God in us, we see from a new perspective and we do everything out of love for Him. In this I failed badly!

"God does not set us here first of all to preach or to do work for Him. The first thing for which He sets us here is to create in others a hunger for Himself. That is, after all, what prepares the soil for the preaching" - Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life

I would like to feel very differently right now, but I think the song just fits today.

spread the wealth around

I have to admit I am a few days behind with my reaction to this comment. I heard the "Joe the Plumber" incident yesterday on the news, and when I heard Obama's comment I was angry and sad at the same time. I am not a political expert but even I can see the flawed thinking in this one.

First off it is NOT the governments responsibility to "spread the wealth around". It is the governments responsibility to collect taxes to run the government and provide infrastructure, protection and other services needed to make this country run. While I do believe the government has some social responsibility to help those truly in need, I don't think that includes spreading the wealth around. The government , in my opinion, needs to remember that they are stewards of the taxpayers money, not owners. They have a responsibility to spend it judiciously. On a side note, look up the word Politic some time see what it means, and where we get the word Politics.

Politic - 1. shrewd or prudent in practical matters; tactful; diplomatic.

I have promised in the blog for it not to be about me, but about God and how we see Him, hear from Him and how to live for His glory, not ours. So here is how I was sad by Obama's statement. I think we as Christians need to be doing more to help out those in need.

This is the part where I start to rant.

We are so caught up in big! Big houses, Big churches, Big cars. We have no margin in our lives to give anything away. We are mortgaged to the hilt, but we are comfortable. We are building BIG churches and calling it success and prosperity. Churches today carry a lot of debt, believe it or not. If we added up all of the interest (just interest) of all of the Church Debt across this country do you know how much that could help those truly in need?

It is just not about "The Church", it is us for failing to give.

Our inability to give because of our lack of margin, or our greediness, leaves our churches short. We all should be prepared to give what God asks, 10%, and we should also be prepared to give even more. I go back to the previous paragraph and ask the same question, sort of. If everyone gave 10% to the church where they are a member, how much debt would the church have? My guess is probably none.

We as Americans, and as Christians have an opportunity to impact The United States and the world in a BIG way. By giving. We need to support our local churches better, and be ready to give our lives away. I love this quote from Kenny Luck in his book "Risk" - "Obedience is the evidence that convinces the world that we are indeed grateful".

The government is not the solution, we are.

Show the world today that you are truly grateful for everything God has given to you, and pass it along. Remember we are only stewards, not owners.

top 5

I recently watched the movie "Hi Fidelity" with John Cusack. Good flick from the perspective of story. The main character is trapped and doomed it seems with questions from his past. As the title infers it is about his past relationships and his present failed relationship. Anyway, throughout the movie he breaks into a top 5 list. Top 5 breakups, Top 5 track 1's on albums etc.. What a great idea, especially for music.

For those that know me, know that I love music. For me to name my top 5 songs would be impossible. But this idea of compartmentalizing the top 5 lists, I can have the freedom to include all of my favorites.

This is the interactive portion of this program!

I want those who are interested to comment with their top 5 list as well. I will start off with a few easy ones.

Top 5 - Title Tracks from an Album

1. Aja ; Steely Dan - Aja
2. Tricycle ; Flim and the BBs - Tricycle
3. London Calling ; The Clash - London Calling
4. Viva la Vida ; Coldplay - Viva la Vida
5. Who are You ; The Who - Who are You

Enjoy! And I hope to hear from you, even if it isn't a list of 5, do what you can.

I think next week I will do Top 5 self titled albums. Or, top 5 covers that were better than the original.

Stay Tuned!

Local Color

The movie trailer above this post is for the movie "Local Color" directed by George Gallo. It is opening in November nationwide, just not in Nashville. I am trying to get people interested is seeing this film here in the Nashville area, and we are speaking with the director and the composer of this film to make this happen. I have not seen the entire film, so no promises, but it looks fabulous. It deals with a number of themes my wife and I discuss, art, creativity, passion, knowing our own stories and learning others stories. You can become a fan on facebook, and you can send e-mails to the director. The website is www.localcolormovie.com

Enjoy!

obstacles and pain

I recently returned from a weekend filled with mountain biking in North Georgia, in real mountains. OK, not 14,000 ft peaks, but compared to Nashville, Big Mountains! What an adventure, and what pain!

Actually . . . multiple types of pain.

The pain of climbing was intense, it is like your thighs will no longer stay in their skin, your lungs cannot begin to take in enough oxygen to keep your muscles working, and you become incredibly thirsty for water. The pain of falling is very different, it is immediate, crushing and sometimes the true pain from the fall can come much later. The third pain is just the pain of exhaustion, your whole body, and I mean whole body is ready to cry out "uncle"! I experienced all of these pains and all I can say was . . . WOO HOO! That was fun!!

Why do I do it? Why do I look to take on something dangerous, risky, adrenaline filled, and could land me in a local hospital? For me, this is one of the ways I am still asking the very important question - "Do I have what it takes?". It is also where I feel the most alive. Pushing my body to perform and seeing how much it can take.

I feel the need to describe the benefits of mountain biking too. The beauty is spectacular! The first trail we did was a climb of Davenport Mountain. It was 2-3 mile climb and an elevation change of around 800 - 900 ft, to start off. Literally the first .2 of a mile was straight up and I almost lost my lunch. The next .4 of a mile was not much better, and we started to walk because we couldn't climb anymore. Through a combination of riding and walking we finally reached the summit. As we rode the trail on the summit, you could see glimpses of the views from the top, and everything to the right and the left of the trail fell off sharply, so you knew you were on the top. It was spectacular!

The next trail we did that day was a little different. The goal was not to reach a "summit" then descend, it was to descend to the river (Cartecay River) then climb back up. Easier said than done. The downhill sections just before reaching the river were downright treacherous. Some people would have a hard time walking down the trail let alone riding it. Again, the scenery was well worth it. We spent a few minutes on large rocks in the middle of the river just enjoying the rush of the river.

In order for me to experience the beauty I had to endure the pain. Whether we choose the path that we know is difficult and we head straight uphill, or we choose what we think is easier and head downhill there is always a possibility of pain. I will tell you that the biggest bruises I received the whole weekend was on the downhill to the river trail.

In life we can't avoid pain, it is inevitable!

The question is do we try at all costs to avoid it? Do we try to forget, by numbing it or making agreements with ourselves that keep us from doing that again. Like I said in my last blog entry, I learn so much about God when I enter into my story, feel the pain and let Him heal me and redeem me. God fixes broken things!

I can't wait to get back to the mountains!

couches and chips

Well it's football time again in Tennessee! I am not saying this because I am a huge UT fan, I just love football. College or NFL, it doesn't matter I love to watch it. There is nothing like a cool autumn day with the windows open, cool breezes, leaves changing and football on TV.

There is a certain comfort to it all.

Comfortable couches, chips and dips and hot wings. Sitting in the comfort of your house and watching the teams play. Watching the teams play! Not engaged in the battle, but simply sitting on the sidelines and cheering (or booing). It is really quite intoxicating, and numbing.

Sunday afternoons for me can be a real joy. I make a chili cheese dip, or nachos and usually a large soda, plop on the couch and watch football, then hopefully drift off to a nice afternoon nap. How awesome is that!

I have to say I got my love for football and the Sunday afternoon routines from my mother. She was the loudest in the family when it came to cheering (screaming would be the word actually). She also took me to the Tampa Bay Bucs games, and High School football games. I miss her so much especially this time of year. I remember one time when I was first married, my mother called me up on Sunday and wanted to know if she could come over to our apartment to watch football, because my dad was out of town. She showed up with a 12 pack of MGD because her doctor said a little alcohol wasn't a bad thing for her.

Good times!

We all look for that comfort. We look for it in food, in jobs, in our savings accounts, and our homes. Look at all the new outdoor living rooms that people are building, you know... outdoor fireplace, couches, tables etc... We all want to be comfortable.

We try to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs.

Recently I had to sit through something very painful and very, very uncomfortable. It was something I chose to do. I want to know God even deeper, and the only way to do that is to reject the comfort of religion, and pursue Him in the nooks and crannies of my life. Sometimes when we retrace our steps we run across dangerous inner city alleys that we do not want to go down. They are dark, scary and we don't really know what we might find there. It might make us uncomfortable!

That is where I want to be, as painful as it is. God is there.

The easy thing to do is to sign up for another bible study class or to volunteer our time at the homeless shelter. Don't get me wrong these things are what we are called to do, and what we need to do. I am saying we can know God in such a deeper way if we search for Him in our stories, and go to those places we have avoided all these years.

I would much rather sit in a cold metal chair in a classroom, that is more institutional than cozy, and do life and explore life with travelling partners than sit on my comfy couch, cheer from the sidelines, numb the pain with food and voyeuristically enjoy the battle.

Jesus chose pain over comfort. For my sake, and my whole life is a response of gratitude.

To God be the glory, Amen.

separation anxiety

With my job I am required to travel from time to time. The distances are usually driving distance, but an overnight stay is required. I try to avoid the overnighters at all costs. I wake up and get on the road before 7am, drive for 3 hours, have my meetings and then drive home. 6 hours in the car is so much better than one night in a hotel. I just checked my points and membership level with my favorite hotel chain, and I found out I am only two stays away from their highest level (Diamond). Truthfully that saddens me.

I like hotels with my family. I like coming back to an icy cold room after a visit to the pool. I like everyone getting ready in the same room and then heading out for breakfast at the hotel. We eat like kings! We eat eggs, bacon, muffins, cereal, danishes, fruit and a full assortment of juices.

I don't like hotels when I am alone and traveling. I don't ever use the pool, but I occasionally use the workout facility. And the truth is I usually have a cup of coffee for breakfast and nothing else.

In the past my daughter has helped me with my travel reservations through an online portal. She helps me pick out which hotel looks best, and she picks where I will stay. She asked me one day, "Does this hotel have a pool?", I said "Yes it does." "You are so lucky!" she replied. She then asked if I was going to pack my bathing suit so that I could go swimming.

When I have to leave, and become separated from my family it hurts. There is a certain sadness when I travel. Generally, I try to stay away from the hotel room until it is bed time. I eat dinner out alone, I shop, maybe catch a movie, anything to trick myself that I am really not away. Then when I do get to the room I fire up my laptop and get to work. At home bedtime is around 10:30, on the road it is midnight.

Recently I either read a book or heard someone on the radio speaking of Jesus praying in the garden before His capture, and his anxiety over the next days.

In Mark it says that Jesus began to be deeply distressed and troubled, and He said "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Luke tells us Jesus was in anguish, so He started praying more earnestly, and His sweat became drops of blood.

Never before have we seen Jesus show this emotion. Was he in anguish over the pain he was about to endure? Maybe. I think he knew that He was about to take on the sin of the world and that His father could not look at Him with the sin, so His father would have to turn His back.

Jesus is in anguish (I think) over the separation of Himself from the Father.

Here is the deal, we are all separated from the Father. That separation is what causes the sadness and anxiety. When we are reunited with the Father through a relationship with Christ, we know the Joy and the Peace that passes all understanding.

I am still sad when I travel, but I am reminded of what Christ went through and I turn my thoughts to Him and everything just feels a little better.

houston, we have a problem

That phrase "Houston, we have problem" was originally spoken by James Lovell of Apollo 13 when the mission encountered a major problem. It has come to mean - something is terribly wrong.

Something is terribly wrong.

With Everything!

There is something wrong with everything on Earth - Eden is gone. Everywhere we look we see a world that is slightly askew. M. Night Shyamalan did a wonderful job in his movie Unbreakable to visually show us through his camera, and through his characters a world that is at odds with itself. The camera shows us through upside down characters, shots through obstructed views and one of my favorites a scene shot in the reflection of a TV set. The main characters show us the two opposing apexes of the pendulum swinging through the fragility of life. Are we completely breakable, or unbreakable? Either way there is pain. We live in a fallen world.

The beauty of Eden is gone, but we yearn for it. We strive to look our best in everything we do. We want the beauty of a beautiful home, a beautiful car, a beautiful wife, beautiful kids. We have to realize what we are really yearning for. We think that beauty can be bought from a plastic surgeon, but it is only temporary. We think that beauty can be found on-line, it too only lasts a moment. We keep trying, and once what we have found to be beauty gets old, worn out, or just not beautiful anymore, we search for something else that is beauty. There is no perfection in beauty anymore Eden is gone. The beauty that we long for, the perfect everlasting beauty can only be found in Christ. He is what we long for.

The peace of Eden is gone. We also strive for peace, or what we call happiness. So we find ourselves burned out by beauty, but surely God wants me to be happy. Right? If I could just get my kids to behave, if I could just get that raise, and I could go on. There are a number of things we think will make us happy. I recently read this quote from Watchman Nee, and it hit me hard.

"I am not suggesting by this that we must try to dispose of everything; that is not the point. The point is that as God's children you and I may not accumulate things for ourselves. If I keep something it is because God has spoken to my heart; if I part with it it is for the same reason. I hold myself in the will of God and am not afraid to give if God asks me to give. I keep nothing because I love it, but let it go without regret when the call comes to leave it behind. That is what it means to be detached, free, separated to God."

The place of Eden is gone. What I mean is all of the places to live on this planet have a character flaw. There is no perfect place to live. There are Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Volcanoes, Wildfires and Tornadoes just to name a few. This is not our home and we have to get used to that. I am reminded of the movie "The Matrix" where Neo finally sees the Matrix for what it really is.

All of this to say when we begin to realize that something is wrong we are one step closer to understand what we are really longing for. And that is God himself.

One last quote, from the great theologians Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young:

"Well then can I walk beside you, I have come to lose the smog, And I feel like I'm a cog in something turning, And maybe it's the time of year, Yes and maybe it's the time of man, And I don't know who I am, But life is for learning, We are stardust, we are golden, We are ten billion year old carbon,

And we got to get ourselves back to the garden"

At least we know what we are looking for. Welcome to the journey.

quiet

I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend today enjoying lunch. He is leaving town soon and moving out to California, so this was a chance for us to catch up and say so long (for now). Anyway, during the middle of lunch the restaurant experienced a power outage, and I noticed it instantly. It wasn't because of the lighting, because we were sitting next to a window and the lighting never changed.

It was the noise.

The fountain in the entryway stopped, the hum of the lights disappeared, all of the noise of power was gone. People were still conversing and there was the noise of people walking and talking, but the underlying noise was gone. I found myself wanting to lower my voice, because now others could hear me better. I felt the noise of the conversations grower quieter just like mine did. It felt like all of the other people became uncomfortable with the quiet as well.

Do we all feel uncomfortable in the quiet?

At my house there is always music on. Everyone in our family loves music and there is almost always some sort of music playing. Sometimes softly and sometimes we just rock out! Other than music there is generally a TV on somewhere in the house too. The AC is blowing, the computers are humming, the air filtration systems are whirring (allergies!) and on and on. Right now my monitor for my computer just started making and audible buzzing sound that almost drowns out the AC blowing.

What does it sound like in your house when the power goes out?

You should try it sometime. Make sure all of your expensive electronics, Computers and AC are off and just hit the main breaker. You will quickly see how much noise we live with.

How do we expect to hear from God with all of this noise? I wonder what some of us would do without noise, not the obvious loudness of life, but that low level humming (white noise) of life and electricity.

One of my favorite things to do is standing outside in a heavy snow. Do you know what I am talking about? One of those snows where it falls straight down, and each flake is the size of a half dollar. Talk about quiet and peaceful. I think it is the most peaceful experience in the world.

God wants us to experience His peace, but we need to just hit the main breaker and let life get quiet. We can hear what He has for us when it is quiet, and we are listening.

pick a little, talk a little

One of my favorite movies is the "The Music Man", don't know why, I just do. I guess any movie that is funny, has a romantic tension (that gets resolved), and music is right up my alley. There is a song in the movie called "Pick a Little, Talk a Little", and it is representative of the women in the town being "chatty" about the goings on in the town. Not much to the song other than the occasional verse "Talk a lot, pick a little more". Anyway, I just kind of feel like all of my talking is just like these women, talk for the sake of talk.

I think I am done talking for a while (and writing).

I am ready to listen.

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Amen.

wanna talk about me

I have been taking some time reading other people's blogs lately and enjoying most of them. Most of the blogs I have been reading have been open, honest and real communication. On one hand am really encouraged that people are starting to get real, on the other hand I am concerned that they are getting real with an anonymous audience, but still posing in their real relationships. Don't get me wrong, we are all posers, but my point is that if you are willing to get real and take off the mask online you should be MORE than willing to do it with real people.

Imagine how much true healing could take place when we realize that we are ALL posers and we all need Jesus. And when we realize that Jesus is the ONLY way to truly heal and become whole.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier entries, I want this to be about experiencing God and finding God in our daily lives.

I don't want this to be about me.

I said that I enjoyed most of the blogs. One in particular just didn't float my boat. I won't mention the blog, and I don't want to come across as one of those critical people who just try to find something wrong with Christianity, Church, Beliefs etc...

But. . . .

One christian blog writer is consumed with their "accomplishments" in life. The accomplishments are solely around, travel to unique places, feats of strength and endurance, and other things deemed important (to them). Nothing wrong with getting out and doing something, but I feel like it is more about differentiation not glory. When I say differentiation, I mean ways that I am better than others. For me that is a ton of work to keep up with, because guess what. . . there is always someone who has done more, looks better, has more things, knows more people and on and on.

I want to show people that when we know Jesus, I mean truly know Jesus, and we trust Him with our lives that none of these accomplishments matter. We point to His one accomplishment that takes care of all of us.

It makes life easier.

When I thought about my "accomplishments" I thought of a few things.

Putting new shoes on Ukrainian orphans, who didn't have any.

The reconciliation with my father, and the strong relationship we now have.

The long discussion with Deon (a homeless guy) about Christ.

I am not trying to be self righteous and that I am better because of my acts of service. I just think we need to be pointing to Jesus, and glorifying God in everything we do.

That's the point!

Crazy Love

I mentioned a phrase in my last post "Crazy Love", I have to admit I got that from a new book I am about finished with. Crazy Love by Kenneth Chan has been an interesting read and I have enjoyed his thoughts on being overwhelmed by a relentless God. Even more interesting was going to his website and watching some of his videos.

http://www.crazylovebook.com

He has videos that correspond with every chapter, plus he has some "big picture" types of videos. Kenneth Chan is a surfer which, for me, made it all the better. Not real deep stuff, but enjoying to watch and read.

I like the phrase "Crazy Love". If you think about what ALL God has done for us it is amazing and crazy. He deserves a crazy love in return. The symbol on the cover is one arrow pointing up and one arrow pointing down. Reciprocal love. Not because we loved Him, but because He loved us first.

Looking froward to a nice vacation, so I will write again when I return.

what happened??

Wow!

I looked at the last date that I wrote something here and I was amazed at how long it has been. I think I fell asleep by a tree and woke up with a beard. It has been a challenging, exhausting, emotional, and somehow thrilling last few months. In one of my last blogs I wished for more time, oh how true that is!

Well after my long nap I feel rested, rejuvenated and restored.

I feel the passion again.

I feel the freedom.

I feel the crazy love, that is loving God.

There will still be obstacles to overcome, and pain to endure for the sake of the battle, but I am ready to fight, and ready to win.

I was listening to Peter Gabriel's song "Big Time" this week and some lyrics struck a chord with me (no pun intended).

"and I will pray to a big God
as I kneel in the big church
big time - I'm on my way-I'm making it
big time - I've got to make it show yeah
big time - so much larger than life
big time - I'm going to watch it growing"

It's time to go big, larger than life, making it show and then watch it grow!

I have to take a moment and say a special thanks to my wife for all of the wisdom, knowledge and love that she has shown to me. She is the one who taught me about going on a journey with God to see who he really is. It was all of the books that she gave me, the long talks at night, and the times where she would tell me that what I really needed was God, not her. She has given herself up for me and for my children and for that I am eternally grateful! Thanks Mo!

Hopefully I will eek out a little time during the week to keep writing.

something so right

Listening to some great Paul Simon music the other day and I ran into a song I wasn't that familiar with "Something So Right". I stopped and took the time to listen to the lyrics carefully. God whispers sometimes to me to just stop and enjoy. Well the lyrics were pretty profound. I wish I could include all of them, but I copied in the last part of the song (the break) and the final chorus. They meant the most to me, because I think we all struggle with this from time to time.

For some of us it is our deepest longing.

"Some people never say the words I love you
It's not their style
To be so bold
Some people never say the words I love you
But like a child they're longing to be told, mm

When something goes wrong
I'm the first to admit it
I'm the first to admit it
And the last one to know

When something goes right
Well it's likely to lose me, mm
It's apt to confuse me
Because its such an unusual sight
I swear, I cant, I cant get used to something so right
Something so right"
- "Something So Right", Paul Simon

Be bold, tell someone you love them today!

Do it even if they never return the favor.

i wish i may....

I wish I had more time to sit down and write. I wish I had more time for everything. I wish my hair wasn't falling out so quickly. I wish my old bones could keep up with my youthful spirit! I wish I iTunes was all free, so I could just get what I want when I want it.

I think I just nailed it. I want what I want, when I want it!

And Now!

Wouldn't life be just a little easier, more enjoyable, and certainly tolerable if we all just got what we wanted. I think the bigger question really is, do we really know what we want? I was watching television the other night and I saw a new reality program that basically was a makeover show that fulfilled your greatest fantasy, well kind of. I think. Anyway, I think there was a girl that got to become a cheerleader, and another who was a model. I never got the name of the show, but the point is that we can all associate with that show in one way or another.

We want something we don't have - or- we want to be someone other than ourselves.

Guilty!

That was then this is now.

I wish now for transformation, redemption, healing, and a truly intimate relationship with God. That is all I need. I find it because He finds me.

feeling sad and tearing my clothes

I guess I have to admit I am feeling very sad this week.

How do I know I am sad? Well I have been to the mall twice this weekend, baked two batches of cookies, nachos and a plethora of other comforting foods. I know where I go to numb the pain. Shopping and food! These things comfort sometimes, but really only mask the pain.

I was reading in the Old Testament last week and I noticed the term "tore their clothes" more than a few times. Very interesting thing to do, if you think about it. Tearing, or destroying something that is designed to protect you! Each time I encountered the term it was a symbol of great mourning, or sadness. I would argue that when we are truly sad in today's culture we want more protection, not less, more culpability, less grieving. Would anyone really tear their $85 Brooks Brothers shirt?

The symbol of them tearing their clothes is actually a very beautiful thing. I picture David (2 Samuel 1:11) standing before God with his outer (physical) protection torn, damaged and ragged, weeping and fasting in sadness.

Not blaming anyone, just sad.

It reminds me of wrestling with my kids. We wrestle (or tickle), and when they know they are beaten or they just can't take anymore they say "Daddy I Got Nothin". They know that physically they can't do anymore, so they surrender. As soon as they surrender we just hug.

They know that they have my heart. And I love them.

I like the idea of tearing my clothes because sometimes the process of grieving is just standing naked before God with no protection, with no one to blame and just weeping. We live in a fallen world and God weeps because of it.

So today, I am tearing my clothes (figuratively) and crying out, Daddy I Got Nothin!

Then me and God just hug!

back in the saddle

Well, after two plus years of a hiatus from blogging I guess I am back. I really enjoyed writing but it became too time consuming. Do I have any more time now? No. Really, no!

I was having lunch with my friend Dave this afternoon and he encouraged me to start this up again. On the way home I realized that I haven't been in the "creating" mode lately. I used to do woodworking, and I created cabinetry and furniture. I used to play my drums and created my own sound (trust me it was my own, because no one else would have called it music). We are all created in God' image and I believe part of His image in me is that of creator. When I create I find myself shutting the world out.

I find myself just being. Not comparing. Not competing.

Just being exactly what God created me for. I start to find out WHO I am when I create. I look forward to finding out a little more about me and a lot more about God in this whole process. I don't want this to be about me in any way. I want it to be about finding God in everything.

How He shows Himself to us.

How He blesses us with beauty all around.

How He whispers to us in our thoughts, in our music, in our books, and in our relationships.

Happy to be back and looking forward to a wonderful journey.