wounds colliding

This is going to be hard.



Connection sucks sometimes.



We are meant for connection, but we become exposed. We want to be safe and secure not exposed. Sure we can have superficial "facebook" friends and feel connected. We can choose our words carefully, say something witty, quote someone else, or just provide a list of our activities.



Face to face it can get ugly.



First off let me say, I am wounded and a wreck sometimes because of it. I have started to see it, recognize it, and I have learned to turn to God to replace the lies with truth. It still hurts.



I will admit I am a closet control freak. I even control the fact that I am a control freak. Wow!! When someone else is in charge of my life I get uncomfortable real quick. Sometimes I get downright angry about it. Just try driving in front of me in the fast lane on the interstate doing the speed limit. How dare you tell me how fast I can go. I love to learn so I am constantly asking questions, but if it is something I don't initiate I don't want to be taught anything. I am really struggling with where this comes from. Somewhere in my past I have made a vow that I would never let anyone control my life.

Or better yet, the lie I hear is " You are on your own"!

If I am on my own, I must be in control. I must!

Here is where the pain starts. It starts when you engage in a relationship with someone who either has the same wound, or is truly a helpful loving individual. Your world gets tilted a bit when this happens. You don't know what to do, so you fight for control or you just simply walk away so that you are "on your own". Just one example of how connection can be messy.

I am learning that connection is necessary, I am learning that I am not on my own, and I am learning how to become unoffendable. I have to realize that we are all wounded and we act out of that woundedness. When the wounds collide it can get ugly real quick!

So... here's to being exposed and becoming unoffendable! Ouch!!